Recovering Perfectionist

cathryn-lavery-67852-unsplash

WordPress suggests to ‘use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it,’ so here you go, folks!

My husband and I made the investment into this blog URL so that I could have a way to share what was going on in our family, given we were about to make a cross-country move with our first born. I wanted to keep friends and family updated with more than just our photos, and through those updates hopefully provide some sort of encouragement and community. Fast forward TWO years and I’m about to publish my first post…

You see, I’m one of those people who struggles with perfection and comparison. So for this blog, I was afraid it wouldn’t resemble the success, following, and beauty of other online friends – which I know is crazy because it’s not like I’m trying to sell a product or brand. I didn’t think being present online would be worth it if only my LOVED ONES read my updates [emphasized because that is actually a thought that I had, and to verbalize it made me feel quite embarrassed].

Perhaps it took me too long to realize that nothing in my life needs to resemble perfection. Still, I have had unnecessary amounts of stress because of this pressure that I put on myself. I wanted my first post to have the perfect graphic, reach a wide audience, maybe even go viral. But again, my goal was to keep loved ones updated with our lives here in Pennsylvania. Why was I trying to, or even wanting to attain a following comparable to the bloggers I follow and love?

I think it’s because at some point I have believed a lie that it is not enough to encourage just one person. To be successful, I need to have a name that is known and sought after by the multitudes. Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus tell me that is what I should be trying to achieve. He did end up with a large following, but His life was marked by pouring His wisdom, love and time into 12 men. He needed no further affirmation than His identity being fully in His Heavenly Father.

You and I both know that just by clicking publish on this short blog post doesn’t mean that I will never again strive for perfection, or desire the approval and praise of others. But I’m hoping this step of vulnerability and transparency is moving me closer to no longer being a person who procrastinates or accepts defeat in something out of fear it won’t be perfect. I’m working towards not placing expectations on myself that my Heavenly Father doesn’t expect of me. He never asked me for perfection, I think mostly because He knows that isn’t possible in this body full of selfish flesh. Instead, He requires humility, obedience, and surrender, qualities that He is delighted to come alongside and train me in. My God has some mighty resources! The presence of His Holy Spirit, His Holy Word, and other mature Christians who have offered discipleship all remind me that I will never be perfect, nor have I ever needed to be.

Not that I have already reached the goal [of dying to the world of sin and temptations], or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12 CSB

 

_____

Do you strive for the illusion of perfection? Or struggle with procrastination that stems from an unnecessary amount of pressure to be perfect?

What are some things you have done in the past to help remind you that our God is perfect? What practical action(s) has God led you to take that alleviates the pressure of having to achieve that ‘social media status quo?’ Would love to hear your tips!